Last Summer, while watching a YouTube video from one of the many Photographers that I follow, Andy Mumford stated a quote from Alain de Botton:

“Human beings are deeply affected by expectation. We go around with mental pictures in our brains of how things are supposed to be…and these expectations have a huge impact on how we feel about what happens to us, framing the way we interpret our experience. Our expectations go a long way to whether we find things enchanting or mediocre and disappointing.”

Re-read the quote and let it sink in. Whoa…hold on. Read the quote again!

A new series started in my church recently titled “Burnout” back in August. My first thoughts when I saw the title, were of my career as well as my photography (yes, I do have a normal day-job, as the income from photography is not nearly sufficient to meet the demands of daily life [anymore]). Being in the same role for 11 years, despite numerous efforts to gain traction moving into other roles and responsibilities, I definitely feel ‘burnout’ more often than I would like. My photography has also taken a strange turn in the last couple of years. I have not felt like my 200% best has come out, yet I am still quite proud of my work and will always strive to improve what I put out!!

Society, family, friends, work put enormous pressure on each of us, to maximize our efforts…to be ‘that’ much better than the day before, to perform at the highest possible level, regardless of what is actually going on each day. That pressure, can be absolutely overbearing. But, we take it in stride and just keep pushing on, exhausted or not! Burnout be damned (lol).

Then the weekend comes along and our thoughts go to going out with friends, taking the RV somewhere for the weekend, grabbing the boat or jet-ski’s and heading for the local lake…then we push push push ourselves in our ‘relaxation’ until whoa, crud…it’s Monday morning and we have to go to work again! Yes, play-time can be just as much work as our actual job.

Not to push church on anyone, but when was the last time you observed the ‘sabbath?” Literally took one day of the week and just “enjoyed your life” without the pressures, expectations and push of society?? By design, we are commanded to relax, not work for one day each week. Prepare meals the day prior, so that time on the day of no work can be focused on doing just that…no work!

Have you heard the phrase “slow your roll?” If not, maybe this will help: For me, that phrase means slow down and relax! The typical response is “I can’t! I have too much to do, too much to get done.” Stop and think about the last sentence. Does that make you scratch your head? If not, that is precisely why the phrase is something we should be saying to ourselves or to our friends / family that are showing signs of burnout!

Regarding our career; there are ways to “slow the roll” with our job as well. What do I mean by this? I mean managing expectations vs. reality! The workplace is very demanding, but it is imperative (in my opinion) for our own health and well-being, to manage those who push, poke and prod into your daily endeavors. This is not a necessarily easy task, I will admit! Let me ask this: How many of you have a job description that actually matches what you do for a living?

Job descriptions seem to change with the wind and can likely change without you even knowing about the change. But, management knows and will subsequently hold you to those changes. Your reality just changed and you didn’t even know. (Do you feel the burnout getting stronger?)

So how do we manage the expectations without creating a messy, ugly situation? From a career perspective, that can be a slightly tricky path…however, definitely do-able. If you are feeling that burnout process, you have to remember that it is your career. Nobody but you is going to manage your career for you. You have to take the initiative to slow the roll, ask for different responsibilities, different expectations. That way, you can excel in your career, not speed towards burnout! You have to sell those you work for, on what it is that you want to do, what you need, in order to be more productive…not just for yourself, but also for the company!!!

For the self-employed, this means you are not just the worker, but also the boss. What do you do? Maybe take on a different clientele for a few jobs; explore some different avenues of your business and push yourself to try different genre’s. Or maybe you go into a client job without thinking of your usual game-plan, your usual planning taking the job on with a “what, specifically, does the customer need? How can I meet and then exceed those requirements?”

But, in both of these instances…you must, in my opinion, take charge of your life, your own career and slow your roll, one day a week. Why push yourself into burnout when you have the luxury, the freedom to take one day each week and just chill? You are allowed, you really are! Give yourself the opportunity turnout, to relax, to just enjoy the moment and surroundings and have a maximum life, not a minimal life!!

I started writing this in September. As I wrote the words, I struck my own nerve, which caused me to tell myself to slow my roll. It’s now December, we are facing the holidays and I’ve been dealt a blow that was a complete blind-side, but one that I should have seen coming much sooner. I had set an expectation that my position was stable, was secure and that I would be okay because …blah blah blah. HA…Surprise!

Suffice to say, I had been a little proactive with the given situation over the last couple of weeks, as I had a gut feeling something was awry and I am glad I was proactive. The blow, however, has elicited a curious sense of freedom. The burnout of 11 years in one role (and 15-1/2 at one company) has released the Kraken (lol) so to speak. Scary situation, to be honest, but extremely freeing at the same time. Perhaps my favorite word has come into play for this situation: Clarity.

Definition of Clarity:

“The quality of being coherent and intelligible.”

We all have a moment in our life (maybe more than one, LOL) where we have experienced a gut-punch, an unexpected twist and we have to face the situation, head-on, and charge full-steam…BUT we must manage our own expectations and slow our roll. Step into the challenge with clarity of intent and expectations for the next whatever it may be. If you don’t like the current situation, what are you (yes…YOU!) going to do about that? Are you going to remain status quo or are you going to take a more proactive posture, where you manage your own expectations? Heck yes! Slow-n-steady wins the race…

Labels —> Managing the expectations of others and of yourself!

In life, we all use labels for defining others (incorrectly much of the time) and defining ourselves. We take on labels of “not enough” or “stupid” or “unemotional” or whatever other label comes to mind. Why do we allow ourselves to take on those labels (or place those labels on others [I am just as guilty of this])? Let’s go back to the original quote and really consume this in the context of labels and the expectations those labels assign.

At work, you may be given a label of “lazy” because a task or assignment was given, but no firm deadline or requirements for the task were given. Then, surprise, it’s Friday afternoon and your boss is asking for the final product of your task or assignment and you have only completed ‘x’ portion of said task / assignment. The expectation was that you would complete by Friday, but you were unaware of the requirement. So…are you really “lazy” or did you not manage the expectations (it is your job to do so just as much as it is the assigner’s responsibility to lay out the assignment requirements)? So is the perception that you are lazy seen by others accurate or is this just a label assigned because a manager is ineffective in tasking their staff?

Or, maybe at home you were supposed to get the yard work done before Saturday, so you could take off with friends & family to go hiking or go to the lake. But, because you did not feel motivated, you got to Friday afternoon and realized the yard work was not going to be completed in time. Do you do as much as you can and then take off on Saturday to hang out with friends & family…OR do you manage the expectation yard work and tell your friends & family that you have to complete the yard work before you can ‘play?’

Perhaps the family is getting together just before the holidays and you find out that one of the family you don’t really care for is going to be present. How do you manage your own expectations (and how your will greet and treat them)? Maybe you just keep your distance and avoid interaction? Maybe you take a different tact and get involved, ask that person how they are doing, what has been going on. Possibly what that family member really needed at that given time was an outlet to just get what is going on in their life out in the open and off their chest!!

Managing expectations is not nor will it come easy. A delicate balance and a delicate touch may be necessary regardless of whether the expectation is work related, family related or just daily every-day life! Slow down, even if only a little, re-think how you move forward and maybe shift the expectation(s) just a little, so that those around also have a maximum life!

A special thanks to the following people for the inspiration:
Andy Mumford: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTFdEybgY_c3Di0SvcmHgZQ
Ben Foote (Teaching Pastor, Flatirons Church)
Jesse DeYoung (Executive Campus Pastor, Flatirons Church. https://twitter.com/thedeyoungster)